“Pastor, I don’t like all the men I’ve been meeting. They’d always have a thing or two that puts me off. Please pray for me”
Sure! I’d pray for you. But I need to be certain that the things that puts you off about these men are not their weaknesses. If it is, then you may need to turn yourself back on when you get put off.
One of the assignments of a woman to her man is to be the strenght for his weaknesses. When God saw that Adam didn’t have a companion, He decided to make a helpmeet for him. A helpmeet simply means a helpful partner or a spouse. This already cancels your dream or desire of marrying a perfect man.
If you find a man who doesn’t need your help in any way, that’s a scam and a trap, don’t go into that relationship. Please believe me, a perfect man is a trap. Adam was really good, he operated with the Spirit of God even in a way that no Christian today has, yet God had to give him someone to help him. Adam was supposed to be a perfect expression of God, yet he needed help. If Adam needed help, which man on earth wouldn’t need help?
So, instead of finding faults when you meet a man, find out if the faults are just his weakness and if you have the strenght to help him. Part of relationship is responsibility to be someone else’s strenght in his or her weakness. Any relationship where you don’t have responsibility to strengthen something won’t stand the test of time.
If your man forgets your birthdays and gives you a genuine reason for it, instead of complaining and getting angry about it, help him device a way to always remember your birthday. Possibly, teach him how to use Google Calender or just set a reminder on his phone. Sometimes forgetting important days like birthdays and anniversaries may not be lack of interest, it may just be a weakness. So don’t conclude that he doesn’t like you just because he forgot your birthday; rather, give him the benefit of doubt by teaching him how not to forget such days.
Just because he’s a spendthrift doesn’t mean he’s unworthy to be your husband. That character may just be a weakness, one which you obviously have strenght for. That’s right! Chances are that you have strenght for anything you complain about. If you complain that he’s always very untidy, then you’re certainly a keeper. If you complain that he wastes resources, then you’re certainly a good manager of resources. My point is, instead of complaining, use your strenght to cover that weakness, and while you are at it, ensure you do it in love. Such that when they see him outside, that weakness will not show, because he has a woman who covers it.
Did you read the part where I said “do it in love”? I hope you did, because men have natural ego, even the ones who seem to be really close to God. You literally cannot force a man to change anything, so your communications should often sound like a meek suggestion. Don’t tell your man to go and learn how to save, teach him how to save in love. Don’t tell him not to mess up the house, create a system within the house that he can easily adapt to.
When I say create a system, I mean you should give him logical reasons why he should change from his ways. For instance, instead of throwing his clothes on the bed, buy a cloth basket and tell him to always put his dirty clothes inside the basket so that the drycleaner can easily locate all the clothes. If you don’t include the drycleaner part, chances are that you’d sting his ego and he’d even do worse. Men like things that make sense to them, not things that challenge them.
Instead of leaving the remote on the chair after watching television, tell him to always keep it in the shelf so that he won’t have to look for it when he needs to use it. Believe me, if you tell him to put it in the shelf so that “you” won’t have to look for it, he won’t listen. But since you said “he”, he’d follow your counsel. That’s how we are😂.
Don’t get scared. We’re not bad people, we’re just men. And if you allow a man be a man, you’d never have issues with him.
Having said that, if it’s a thing or two that puts you off about these men, then it means you don’t have so much work to do on the one you finally chose😂, except it’s an extreme case.
What I’ve just shared with you will help you avoid delay in your marital destiny, if you practice it. One of the easiest ways to identify your man is through his weakness. If your strenght matches up with his weakness, then you’ve definitely found your man. But if his weaknesses overwhelms you everytime, run!
I hope this has brought enlightenment to someone.
Remain ever blessed, in Jesus precious name!
#EmekaAnslem
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