Asides the fact that dating another man’s husband is adultery, it’s impossible for one man to have equal love for two women. While I may not be able to talk you out of continuing that relationship – for obvious reasons, you need to understand that there can never be equality between the love he has for his family and the love he has for you.
When I say “equality”, I don’t necessarily mean the level of love, rather I mean the classification of love. For instance, the love between a man and his wife, especially the one that has children for him, naturally grows from a romantic love to a type of love called “storge” – an inexplicable bond within a family. So while it is possible that a man may not feel romantically connected to his wife after many years, it would be almost impossible to leave his wife and family for a fresh romantic love with another woman.
Chances are that after he gets what he wants, he’d realize how much time he has invested in his family and would be unwilling to start afresh, except mistakes happen that eventually traps him. Mistakes can be unplanned pregnancy or just blackmail. When a mistake does happen, the woman would become a burden, and all she’d get from the man would be hate.
Now because he now satisfies his romantic life from you, chances are that he’d begin to give his wife lesser attention. Don’t get deceived by that, as long as his wife isn’t a bad person at home, you can’t have her husband to yourself for long. No man ever wants to leave a woman that gives him peace at home. He may engage in extramarital affairs, but he surely will not leave his peaceful wife for any woman.
When a man claims that he loves you, he needs to have at least two kinds of love towards you. If all he has is romantic love, then entering such a relationship may cost you. Perhaps I should explain the different classifications of love so that you can understand better.
Love is an emotion with vastly differing degrees of intensity. And all through scriptures we’d find 4 unique types of love which the original Greek Bible communicated as Eros, Storge, Philia, and Agape. They simply mean romantic love, family love, brotherly love, and God’s divine love.
Eros is the Greek word for sensual or romantic love. The term originated from the mythological Greek god of love, sexual desire, physical attraction, and physical love. Love in the form of Eros seeks its own interest and satisfaction – to possess the object of love. The scripture makes it clear that eros love is reserved for marriage. Promiscuity of all types was rampant in ancient Greek culture and was one of the obstacles Apostle Paul had to battle while planting churches in the eastern Mediterranean. In 1 Corinthians 7:8-9, Apostle Paul warned young believers against engaging in immorality: “So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust”. Within the boundary of marriage, eros love is to be celebrated and enjoyed as a blessing from God. Proverbs 5:18-19 says, “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.” ( see also Hebrews 13:4; 1 Corinthians 7:5; Ecclesiastes 9:9).
Storge is a term for love in the Bible that not many believers are familiar with. The Greek word describes family love, the affectionate bond that develops naturally between parents and children, brothers and sisters. Many examples of family love are found in Scripture, such as the mutual protection among Noah and his wife, the love of Jacob for his sons, and the strong love the sisters Martha and Mary had for their brother Lazarus. Apostle Paul made reference to this type of love in Romans 12:10 when he said “… be devoted to one another with brotherly affection”. Since sporge is a family type of love, we’re also expected to have it towards our family in Christ. Just as you share the same blood in your natural family, we also share the same blood in Christ.
Philia is the type of intimate love that most committed Christians practice toward each other. This Greek term describes the powerful emotional bond seen in deep friendships. Philia originates from the Greek term phílos, a noun meaning “beloved, a friend, someone dearly loved (prized) in a personal, intimate way; a trusted confidant held dear in a close bond of personal affection”. Philia expresses experience-based love. We see an example between David and Jonathan. Coincidentally, Jesus said philia would be an identifier of his followers: “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another.” (John 13:35, NIV). Now you’d understand why the world thinks that Christians don’t love themselves.
Agape is the highest of the four types of love in the Bible. This term defines God’s immeasurable, incomparable love for humankind. It is the divine love that comes from God. Agape love is perfect, unconditional, sacrificial, and pure. Jesus Christ demonstrated this kind of divine love to his Father and to all humanity in the way he lived and died: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)
As husbands, asides having Eros for our wives, God also commands us to have Agape towards them. Ephesians 5:25 clearly says,” Husbands, love your wife, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it”. This already means that every husband has at least 2 classifications of love towards his wife. How then will you survive with just Eros?
Think about it, he can’t possibly have Agape and Eros for another woman. You can’t bring God into sin. So even if he says things like “God knows I love you”, you should know it’s a lie, he only has Eros for you.
The only way out of it is to break off that relationship, no matter how long you’ve been in it before you realized he was married. Continuity after such discoveries should never be an option, it doesn’t have a joyful end.
P.s – If you already have a child with the man, chat me up privately.
I hope this has brought enlightenment to someone.
Remain ever blessed, in Jesus precious name!