I’m happy you asked, because it’s at this point of confusion that many believers backslide. Meanwhile, this state of confusion is normal for Christians who really want to have a lasting and fruitful relationship with God. What that state of confusion does is to create a vacuum that only a specific truth can fix. Until you find that specific truth, the vacuum would remain. And the longer that vacuum remains, the more vulnerable you’d be to carnality.
Even as a teacher of the gospel, I’ve been in that state of confusion many times. The first time was after I had already authored over 27 books. It felt as though I had exhausted God, yet asides the record of 27 books, there wasn’t any other significant thing I could point to that my walk with God did.
Everytime I went to church, it felt like I was listening to something I already knew. I read diverse books by several of my mentors in search of that specific truth that would fill that vacuum. Although I got new revelations from those books, but the vacuum was too deep. I prayed to God severally about the situation, but it seemed like I was alone in that situation.
After about 2 years, I became very specific in my prayers, I asked God for a mentor who would help me fill that vacuum, and that’s how God divinely connected me to Apostle Joshua Selman. I was in the office that day when I stumbled on a livestream where Apostle was ministering. I was connected for over an hour thinking that I had only tuned in for five minutes. The vacuum in my heart was suddenly replaced with a longing for more of his sermons. I played his sermons night and day, and even ran vigils on them. My confusion ended that period.
Recently, another confusion set in. I wondered what the relationship between Jesus, The Father, and The Holy Spirit is like. I know I had heard a number of sermons that had helped me thus far, I had also read the Bible about them and even written books, but at this point, I needed to know how to relate with them both individually and as one God. I wanted to know how Jesus feels when I call on the Holy Spirit for help. I wanted to know how God the Father feels when I call on Jesus for help. And I wanted to know how the Holy Spirit feels when I call on Jesus for help. I’m guessing you now understand my confusion. Let me even guess, my confusion has also gotten you confused😂.
But guess what I did? I didn’t look for a sermon to listen to, neither did I look for a book to read, I went straight to my bible to read about Jesus’s life and ministry, how he referred to the Father and the Holy Spirit, how the disciples referred to Jesus, the Father, and the Holy Spirit. Believe me, even before I was done with my research, that confusion dissappeared.
So that’s what you should do. Carry your bible, and begin by understanding how and why Jesus came into this world to die, understand those who should benefit from his sacrifice, understand the authority you have as a follower of Christ, understand how he engaged the Holy Spirit and the Father. Sermons are great contributors to our Christian walk, but like I remarked, if you really want to walk with God, then you need more than sermons, you need to read your Bible and understand how people related with God.
I hope this has brought enlightenment to someone.
Remain ever blessed, in Jesus precious name!