I’m glad you sought counsel, because sacrificing material things for people who are not transformed in their mind always ends in frustration. In extreme cases, it may lead to distress.
I’m a giver, but I’ve learnt to give with discretion. If I meet a person who needs help, ofcourse I start by providing material resources to help the person stand, but afterwards, I consciously begin to introduce knowledge to his mind. If after a while I notice that he’d rather depend on me than develop his mind to become a better version of himself, I’d cut off his access to material resources from me and become strict. Once that is done, my answer to everything he requests will be “NO” by default.
The communication line will still be open, just incase he finally makes up his mind to be transformed. I’d also be willing to sponsor anything that involves the transformation of his mind, whether he wants to go to church, a bible school, or even the university to study. I do this to both family members and friends. If you want to enjoy what I enjoy, then you must be ready to submit to transformation, not queue at my door step as though I’m a bank.
Christianity isn’t a charity movement, and that’s why the solution to poverty according to Jesus is to preach the gospel to the poor. Luke chapter 4 clearly says, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because He hath anointed me to preach the Gospel to the poor”. And the reason why we preach the gospel to the poor is to help their mind discover potentials. It was a mindset that kept them in a poor state, it’s also a mindset that will bring them out.
The presence of money doesn’t change people’s mind, it only amplifies what’s in their mind already. So if you give a poor man money, chances are that he’d squander it and come back to you for help again. His mind doesn’t have what it takes to preserve or multiply money. No matter how much you give him, the solution will always be temporal, he will come back after he has wasted the money.
Speaking of waste, God hates waste. He’d rather that you focused your financial resources on things that will have a long lasting impact. Not all my family members are committed to God despite my efforts, so I become stern deliberately, but go all out for those who have made up their minds to follow Jesus. I’d buy cloths, shoes, give them money, just to ensure that they are comfortable as they start their new journey. And when I notice that their minds are being transformed, I’d do what I can to support their job or business. They’d literally become part of my responsibility. My priority will always be my Christian family, not my biological family. When Jesus was told that his mother and brothers wanted to see him, his response was that his mother and brothers were the ones that hear the word of God and did it. It’s hard, but God is too wise to be faulted, so I’d rather stick to His word.
Speaking of transformation, Romans 12:2 says, “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God”. So transformation is only possible by the renewal of our mind.
Prayer cannot transform you if it doesn’t change your mind. Sleeping in church or going to church cannot transform you if it doesn’t change your mind. Your mindset determines how much transformation you experience. Serving God is profitable, but if your service to God doesn’t change your mind, it won’t transform you. As soon as you make up your mind that you need a new level, then you need to increase in your mindset.
A good sermon won’t transform you except you allow it to change your mindset. Despite heavy sermons on diligence, some people are still lazy. We hear sermons on financial prosperity almost everyday, yet many Christians don’t give. They’ve heard the sermons, but it just hasn’t settled in their mind. Believe me, my life only began to experience financial increase when I made up my mind to understand the principle of financial prosperity in the kingdom. A good sermon won’t impact your life until you make up your mind to meditate.
“Be ye transformed by changing how you think”. We must understand that the bible is a way to think. Everything the bible says should be a new mindset that replaces how you used to think. For instance, a poor man naturally eats everything and returns to lack, but the bible tells us that he that gives to the poor shall not lack. Which means if a poor man gives from what he has, he won’t go back to lack. Simple!
As I conclude, the bible says, “The labour of the foolish wearies everyone because he doesn’t know how to get to the city”. Which means anything that is not working in your life is a proof of the absence of knowledge. Deal with problems by acquiring durable knowledge, not by applying a quick fix. Every quick fix you apply to a problem gives temporal relief that lands you in a deep fix.
I hope this has brought enlightenment to someone.
Remain ever blessed, in Jesus precious name!