I totally understand how you feel, you stumbled on a revelation from scriptures that now makes it seem as though everything you knew about God isn’t the real thing. Your confusion is that you’ve preached what you know for many years and even commanded great miracles, but now you feel as though those things no longer matter when compared to the real picture. To make matters worse, you no longer feel the zeal to preach or even attend church programs where the kind of knowledge you’re seeking for isn’t being communicated.
Personally, I’ve been through this, and I’m still battling with it. Mine started 2018, and till date I’m still looking for God. Sometimes it feels better, only for that feeling to start all over again. It’s like the more I know God, the more it feels like I don’t know Him. Sometimes it takes a lot of courage for me to write or even teach. Surprisingly, the moment I start to write or teach, He gives me unusual grace. But the moment I’m done, the feeling continues. It’s so serious that anytime I’m doing something that’s wasting my time, the Spirit of the Lord will put haste in my heart – admonishing me to go and spend time studying the word of God instead.
If you’re someone who is committed to transforming lives through the knowledge of God, then seasons like this would often be in your life. When you find yourself in situations like this, it’s simply a call to know the ways of God. Let me show you a few scriptures:
7 He made known his ways unto Moses, his acts unto the children of Israel.
Most believers started out their Christian walk knowing the acts of God. Ask a random Christian what he knows about God, chances are that everything he’d tell you would be about His acts, the things He has done and the things He does. Before you’d find a Christian who would talk about the ways of God, it must be one who isn’t pursuing God for miracles. There’s a huge difference between following God because of what He can do for you and following God because of what He desires to do for Himself.
The children of Israel served God because of His miraculous acts. I’m pretty sure that they would not have followed Moses if not for the miracles. At some point when Moses was away for 40 days, they had to create their own god. Man naturally loses patience when there are no actions. A pastor who doesn’t preach with action may lose his congregation in this time and age.
So God understands this, that’s how He was able to maintain the trust of the children of Isreal. The more He acted, the more they trusted. However, He singled out Moses and made His ways known to him. With Moses, it wasn’t just about the God that acts, but about the God that has principles and systems that needed to be followed so that God could do greater things on the earth. If all you know are the acts of God, then you may not be able to do much exploits in this kingdom. The reason why Moses was outstanding when compared to the children of Israel was because He knew the ways of God. The reason why it always seem Pastors are better Christians is because they spend time understanding the ways of God, not just His acts. There are things that an average Christian would do that a pastor or a matured believer would never do, not because it’s a sin, but because they understand the ways of God. When it comes to God’s ways, it’s not about good or bad, it’s about His will.
So if you feel like you don’t know God, then it’s first because God is calling you to know His ways. And if you think you know His ways, then let Romans 11:33 be your consolation. It says, “O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out”. That’s right! The more you know, the more it appears as though you don’t know. His ways are past finding out.
8 This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.
One of the ways to know God is by His character, and there’s no better place to learn His character than the Bible. If you want to learn the character of God from the bible, don’t meditate on the acts alone, meditate on the communications that brought about the acts. What did the person do, and what did God do? People who want to understand the ways of God don’t look for scriptures to declare, they look for scriptures to help them know God better. There are many unwritten verses in the bible, they can only be uncovered in the character of God.
Spend time studying your Bible, not just books. Books are topical, they address specific things, but the bible reveals the whole character of God. For instance, I used to think that I could possess wherever the sole of my feet treads upon until I saw that God never gave the children of Isreal the land that belonged to the Children of Esau. He specifically told them not to contend with them because He will not give it to them. This means that if they had attempted to dispossess the sons of Esau of their land, they would have lost the battle. So my possession must be within the boundary of what God has permitted me to have. These are not things you’d find a Bible quotation for, they are in the ways of God.
3 Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.
Anybody who wants to know the ways of God must spend time studying His Word and fellowshiping with Him in prayers. Think of how you became so close to your spouse, you both spent time talking to each other. The more time you spent together, the more you know about each other. Now you know your favourite foods, cloths, colours, cars, and so on. When you’re told that your spouse did something wrong, you can literally vow that he or she did not, and that’s because you’ve known his or her ways. Everybody else might say contrary, but you would not believe. At the end, you’d be right and every other person will be wrong.
The more you pray, the closer you draw to God. Fellowship with God in prayer moulds a believer to resemble God. You won’t know when you’d change to the same image as God.
As I conclude, you’ve known His acts for so long and even preached it with miracles to show, now it’s time to know His ways. A discovery of His ways would help you become a better Christian.
I hope this has brought enlightenment to someone.
Remain ever blessed, in Jesus precious name!